Matrix, an ideal world with no place for mistakes.
Nowadays, we have created Matrix – the perfect world. A world were mistakes do not exist. A world with no room for mistakes. We are used to this ideal world. We want everything to be flawless, simple and perfect. We will settle for any alternatives. We simple reject them.
It is true for almost every aspect of our life. From a new smart phone, through human relationships to dog-human bonds We expect simple and immediate solutions. There is no place for defects in our world. We have no time nor desire to deal with problems.
These days it is easier to end a relationship with another human being. It does not matter if it is a friend, boyfriend, spouse or even acquaintance from work. We do not respect the value of it, we do not respect each other. We do not want to work on our relationships. Does everything have to be served on a plate? I think that because of the fact the world is shrinking we have started to live in larger populations. Not so long ago people lived in a smaller communities, where they had no choice but to work together, spend time together and accept each other. The bonds and respect for other people were stronger.
Now, after a tiny bickering we are willing to end a longtime friendship. We do not care because in a minute we will find a new and better friend or partner. At least for a while. And when an error appears again in our MATRIX we will exchange him again and again….
If something does not meet our criteria 100% we do not try to solve the problem or spend some time dealing with it. Why bother if you can replace it with a new and improved model. A few years ago to get an answer to a boggling question we had to check a book, library or ask someone. Now if we want an instant answer we just Google it. The answer has to be immediate, the best tutorial and if we do not get it in few seconds we are angry. We want to get rid of the problem NOW!, with a touch from a magical wand.
Overwhelming globalization makes us see the world online, where people are bold and beautiful. They have happy families with nice kids and an obedient dog. We compare this Instagram family with our own reality. I think that a large group of people would be willing to give away a kid to the orphanage like they do with dogs. It is just the social ostracism that keeps them away from doing it. Not to mention all these people who would love to have kids or dogs just for a few days or hours a week, when they are behaving well.
This problem is vivid when we look into our relationships with dogs. I have recently heard that my dog can not be: aggressive, can not bark, has to like other dogs, has to obedient, healthy, good looking – has to perfect! Moreover, if we want to practice some canine sport with him he has to be the best! Period.
We do not create strong bonds with dogs, we can not create them. Because if the foundation of a relationship is a matter of how perfect our dog is and how he meets our specific criteria then this relation can not be deep. That explains why it is so easy to give away an adult dog, after a few years spent together. Just to replace him with a brand new and better one. Usually, there are various reasons; after a few years the dog has suddenly stopped getting along with the rest of the pack, he is not happy with us, he is not going to be the next agility or obedience world champion, or we do not have enough time for him. Even though the reasons may vary the truth is the same. Too high expectations and not ready to face a problem.
People all aorund me decide to buy puppies for sport. Highly selected, with genetic predispositions, from the best kennel. Simply perfect! Unfortunately, sometimes, not everything goes as we wanted and planned and our Mr. Perfect is not so ideal as we had dreamed. He does not play that well, he does not have a great drive and he is not so fast. Our frustration grows. We judge our dog by his utility and his ability to meet our needs.
Sometimes we plan our training, we want to do: square, heelwork, etc. Everything is perfectly planned. We arrive at the training location, unpack our stuff, take the dog out and he refuses to work with us. We are irritated and mad. Why has this happened if we have planned it to be perfect? Why has our friend recently uploaded a movie where her dog do a perfect heeling and our dog can not do this right now. It often ends with putting pressure on a dog, doing a training by force and lamenting that we do not have the ideal dog. Our R2D2 stopped working. When we discover there is an error in our MATRIX we do not know how to handle it. It destroys our flawless world.
The same thing happens when our dog has some behavioral issues. We often do not pay attention for years until one day it starts to bother us. So we go to a dog school where trainer tells us how to work with our dog. But his solution is not quick, it takes time and effort. The trainer is not able to fix our dog immediately so we change the trainer. We go to the next school, and the next after. Finally, we either meet an aversive trainer who deals with a problem by simply masking it but it will be fast or we give the dog away to the shelter because there is nothing that can be done.
We want to have a perfect life but we just do not want to give back anything in return. The world at our feet, to be perfect and flawless. Everything in this MATRIX has to be ideal like in a picture.
On the one hand we know that the sky is the limit and that we can achieve almost everything we have dreamed of but on the other hand we tend to forget that to make this come true we have to work hard, make sacrifices and be patient. The world is your oyster and we can make our dreams come true. But this world is not perfect and ideal. We do not want to adjust to the world, we want the world to adjust to us in almost every aspect of our life.
In our path to pursue happiness we have to face problems and not push them away or replace them with new models. Because what would be the fun in cutting a puzzle up in order to make it all fit?